Please select one of the following commands
Please select the topic of history you wish to learn about.
Red Dwarf, was an internet talker started in 1998 by Arnie, Dodgy, Hammerman and JCage on an unauthorised account at the then Tile Hill College in Coventry, UK. The theme of the talker was based on the British comedy Red Dwarf, and there were many references to the programme within the talker. It must be stressed that the name was purely chosen out of the love of the programme by the original administrators, and that the talker has no connection with the original programme.
The Red Dwarf talker was initially based on the Playground Plus basecode, but became heavily modified over time. Much of the original coding was done by Dodgy, with later coding by The Bear and Mort.
Unlike many talkers at the time, where the administrators were perceived as too strict on issues such as swearing or adult topics, Red Dwarf took a more liberal line on such issues. This, coupled with the talker being not only UK based, but very Midlands-centric, rather than revolving around the London I.T. professional scene, meant that it attracted a large number of users, and was one of the most popular UK based talkers at the time.
Significant user bases were in Coventry, Leicester, Stafford and Stoke On Trent, where were many well attended meets in around these Midlands hotspots.
With the talker’s popularity increasing, it soon became unviable to keep the talker running on the Tile Hill server, and it soon moved around a number of private servers.Back to top...
In 2001, Red Dwarf was re-launched as Yuss, after a dispute between the orignal administrators, and the new account holders. The administration was now mainly consisted of Stoke spods.
Despite still being popular, and still attracting a large user base, compared to many other talkers, it was felt that the talker was not being run in the same spirit as the original, and eventually in 2002 the talker was closed down.
Unlike many talkers, there were largely few rules, and although the talker was staffed, a lot of things were tolerated, which were seen as unacceptable on other talkers.
However allegations that the talker was promoting drug use, and even being used as a place to arrange for the dealing of drugs, did see the owners of one of the boxes clamp down on the talker.
There was also a degree of anarchy amongst some of the administrators, particularly in the Yuss era, including the controversial ‘Guest HCAdmin’ of the day, where a (usually unsuitable) random user was given full control over the talker for 24 hours. This resulted in various unpredictable results.
Red Dwarf was also responsible for the first and only noted example of talker ‘terrorism’, the TLF (Talker Liberation Front) were also operational during the heyday of Red Dwarf, and was formed within the Leicester user base. The group attempted (somewhat successfully) to sabotage other talkers, either by causing general disruption, or in some cases gaining access to the accounts of other talkers under the premise of offering to code for them, but in reality either causing damage to the code or making the talkers unusable. They also used spies to infiltrate some of the major talkers, and exposed some of the hypocrisy amongst the administrators of the ‘competition’.
Red dwarf / Yuss ceased to exist in 2001, and was eventually itself superceeded by an unstaffed talker called The Hive, primarily run by former Red Dwarf administrators / coders from Leicester. The talker was an all new code, written from scratch . This existed till 2003, when with the decline in users, due to the increase of instant messaging, it was not considered viable to keep running.
Some of the more original ideas developed under Red Dwarf and its successors hasve been imitated in talkers today, including the list of ‘health bars’ similar to video games indicating user’s login time and connection status, and the Battleships game.
In addition, a number of other talkers were started by Red Dwarf users, as spin offs largely using unmodified PG Plus. Notable examples include Elite, People In Black, and Casualty, however they never gained the popularity of Red Dwarf., and were soon closed down.Back to top...
The Haskodrome is a bizarre stellar phenomenen which can only be witnessed using sophisticated electronic telescopes and the like on the 13th day of every third month of every third year. Resembling a giant shovel, it has a tendency to fly quite low on these days and thus has scooped up various unwary individuals who didn't heed the advice of their mothers. Over the years, a small collection of individuals has accumulated on the outer-blade edge of the Haskodrome shovel, and set about building a community to stave off the boredom of the intermediary wait between the tri-monthly tri-annual visits to Threshers.
In 1832, five years after his incarceration in the Haskodrome, he began construction of a series of wooden huts on The Outer-Blade, constructed out of a combination of balsa-like woods (which are abundant in Haskodrome) and carbon-fibre composites. The construction of this mini-township proved timely, as the second person to fall victim to The Haskodrome's visitations was scooped up in late 1833. From her capacious womb was birthed their three children; Sheep, CS Gas and Polar Bear (also known colloquially by The Rebellion as 'The TLF').
Under his control, Eccles' Luftwaffe bombed the Haskodrome Town Hall to rubble, and led his panzer brigades into the Town Square, where they planted their standard; a flag featuring the symbol of The Giant Pickle. Although successful in gaining immediate control, a number of partisan elements were formed from the displaced peoples of Haskodrome, who waged guerilla warfare against Despot Eccles for many years afterwards.
The Republic of New Haskodromia's provisional government set about restoring law and order and creation of a number of monuments to their nation's Imperialist past. The Tomb on top of the Peak of Chew is one such example, and the Museum of Hasbro was another, wherein the Emergency Scriptures were put on display.
Chipmunk Olivier Du Vrais was an anarchist youth whose campaigning had been gaining popular sentiment with the disenfranchised refugees of The Third and Fourth Wars before the Republican movement gained sufficient momentum leading to the reunification with Greater Dockyard. Following The Reunification, his supporters largely dissipated, leaving him a bitter and frustrated man. In an attempt at gaining revenge over the new provisional government, he broke into the Museum of Hasbro and stole the Emergency Scriptures, before setting light to them with a Bic lighter.
When news of this act of vandalism spread, an angry mob of people went to the house of Chipmunk Olivier, tearing down his doors and ransacking his house, before realising their mistake and tearing down nextdoor's doors (where he actually lived), finding Chipmunk Olivier in the living room watching Eastenders. Realising that his act of petulance was to be his doom, he freely handed himself over to the mob, who tore him to pieces using stanley knives and wine corkscrews.
Democracy was finally established in New Haskodromia in 1953, and the progressive neo-conservative socialist Groo Party, lead by the charismatic wife beater Doctor Asiphus Al Hussein was duly elected into power. Despite his uncompromising violence towards women and various species of lizards, specifically geckos, he is still widely revered as the finest leader New Haskodromia has ever had.
The Groo Party immediately began a programme of dramatic reforms, including relaxing the highly unpopular bans on softball and ownership of plutonium. Swearing in public also became permitted in freehouses, for six days a week, although the profanity ban still remained on Tuesdays, due to pressure from the moral think tank, The Jops Lobby.The Haskodrome Health Service, was established, which put an end to the monopoly of Blacksmiths (who were often expensive and poorly trained) providing healthcare.
Other projects included the creation of the first national police force, The Bort Police, leading to a sharp fall in crime due to their controversial "shoot first, interrogate later" policy. The re-nationalisation of the trolleybus network finally made public transport affordable for most citizens, with triple and quadruple decker buses being built to fulfil the record demand.
However the downfall of the Groo Administration was the high level spending on grandiose schemes which could never possibly pay for themselves, the most famous being the solid gold road bridge from the bustling city of Kiptown Upon Windsearching to New Haskodromia's closest moon, Vanvania. Residents complained bitterly about the high taxation to fund the bridge, as well as gold being diverted from the drinks industry. The last straw was the death of local youth worker Ronaldo Gretcher, who was killed by a golden brick falling from the sky. The Groo Party never fully recovered from the bad press.
In 1965, the Groo Party was finally voted out of power, to make way for the right wing El-Beauno Brand X Party, who embarked upon a programme of embezzling money and legalising relationships between humans and goats.
Following the sale of Haskodrome to The Coca-Cola Corporation in 1987, the island paradise is now a popular destination for tourists, famous for its unspoilt beaches and cheap heroin.Back to top...